Last night I wasn’t feeling well and things from my childhood and youth came to mind, especially the times when I disappointed my dad.
At some sports festival where all the parents were sitting in the stands, I came second to last in some very long run. Although I had long legs and was tall, I was never good at running. Today I am. I learned to run through the army. Running long distances, running fast, no problem. But back then as a child - no, running was never my thing. And when I looked up at my father shortly before the finish line, I saw disappointment on his face.
I also disappointed him badly once in my school career. I repeated a class at secondary school. Why? I was simply lazy. Just a teenager. My dad didn’t understand, he was very disappointed. After that I was always very diligent, had very good grades. The event had to be that way. Today I have a really good job in every respect. I have made myself and built up a lot of things.
Why did I think of all that? I don’t want to disappoint him again.
He is now proud of everything I have achieved. Be it my career, my wife, my children, the house. I don’t know if he has forgotten the things from back then. I don’t think so.
Maybe it’s stupid to worry about it, but that’s the way it is.